L is for Leaving

An Alphabytes Entry

I am really struggling to find the words anymore. My brain is off on another adventure.

We have found we are locked in for Fort Drum. Leaving here. We've had a good stay while we've been here. This town, these people are nice. My older son has finished school here, made good friends here. We really have not made any friends. I mean we have them, but they, the friendships seem so superficial. Good people, nice people. But we are very unto ourselves and I think they don't get that.

So anyway, we're leaving here. Changing everything in our lives, moving on, moving away. Nervous about where we're going. Facing unknowns. The only real unknown is that JW will deploy. I dread this. I am not complaining, I am just scared. Who's not?

I feel like a stranger here, already. The day JW called me to tell me it had happened, I talked about it with him for a bit and then let it drop for a while. Almost forgetting it. Then later, when I went out to run to town, I was sitting at the stop light, listening to the radio and not really thinking at all, when it hit me how strange I felt. How much like an outsider I felt. I don't much care for this feeling. The disconnect that happens when you hit the PCS mark. I want to leave and move on. But I honestly love this area. Love this town, for all it's been to us.

My husband is gone all of the time, and I sleep very soundly at night, knowing I am well taken care of here. My family it well cared for here. It used to bother me that everyone seemed to know our business. Now, it seems a security to know someone is always looking out for us. I hate to admit it, but I hate leaving here.